[Vanity, Brenda]
Brenda, how we gonna get to the party?
Call up Jimmy, he's got a car
And what if a girl answers?
Hang up
Hang up nothing! Jimmy says I was his girl
Honey, don't you know everyone is Jimmy 's girl?
Brenda, I know better than anybody
Well, if a girl answers, don't hang up, just talk about her!
Yes!

[Vanity, Prince]
Hello? This is Vanity. Is Jimmy home?
Yes, but he's taking a shower
Oh, I see, did he just take out the trash?
No, that's something he used to do
Now he's taking out me!
Oh, I see, well tell him he left his pants over here last night
That's ok you keep em', he won't be needing 'em tonight
Oh, what's the matter? Is he going swimming?
Well no, we was gonna go, but he said he did that last night
Well suga' I know about a great party, why don't you bring us your car?
So sorry baby, but I never go to singles bars
Single?! Is that what you think? Tramp, I'm dating yo dad!
Oh, well he died about seven years back
Now ain't that just too bad?
Well, that's how we like 'em - tall, stiff and ready
That's positively more than I can say for dead Jimmy
That's because he was swallowing vitamin E
Now he's swallowing me
Oh, you mean you were swallowing him
Why don't you just tie a mattress to your back?
I'm gonna need it, 'cause if I ever see your face
I'm gonna fall and have a heart attack
All that's gonna fall is the wig off your head
Now what you think about that?
I think I'd rather wear a wig than run a motel for roaches
Ants and lice, dogs and cats in my hat!
[Brenda, Brenda & Vanity]
Hey!
That's going too far, here gimme the phone
Hey tramp, take a bath in puke
What's more, you can kiss where the sun don't shine
If that don't work, we can duke!
You see, the only kind of man that would play with you
Is one that plays with himself
None of my friends can stand the sight of you, much less the smell
And if I wasn't a lady, I'd take my money
And buy you a brand new face
Then I'd take my underwear and stick it in your mouth
And you'd love it cause you got no taste
And if that don't work, call back your dead daddy
And show him what you look like now
Honey, I'd bet he'd never come back
'Cause you one ugly cow (woo-wee)
Girl, you tell your boyfriend Jimmy
He can go and get hit by a car
'Cause as far as I see it, he can't afford to bite the beat of this star!
There's two things we can't stand
One's a jive talk man
The other's a jive talk man with no money
Can you dig it? Click!

[Outro]
If a girl answers, don't hang up
If a girl answers, don't hang up
If a girl answers, don't hang up
If a girl answers, don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up

If a girl answers, don't hang up
Don't hang up
If a girl answers, don't hang up
Don't hang up

Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up
Don't hang up