[Verse 1]
That kind of girl's no good for you
She flips her hair and thinks she's cool
Giggles at every joke you tell
Ask her religion, she'll say "swell"
Starving children, now that's hot
Long as she's eating, damn the lot
The Queen of England, Duke of Earl
They ain't got nothin' on this girl

[Chorus]
She change sheets with a different key, not as bad
Guinness couldn't count all the men she's had
You won't be satisfied 'til you marry the hag
Give birth to an eggplant, oh what a drag

[Verse 2]
That kind of girl's no good for you
All she wants to do is you
There's always eight women to three men
But if you marry an eggplant, oh what then?

[Chorus]
She change sheets with a different key, not as bad
Guinness couldn't count all the men she's had
You won't be satisfied 'til you marry the hag
Give birth to an eggplant, oh what a double drag
[Refrain]
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
Doo doo doo doo
Marry an eggplant, oh what then

[Instrumental Outro]