[Verse 1: Uncle Dane]
Somebody once told me
That I could make some money by bullying some people online
So I grew a gnome goatee and put on a stupid beanie
And started making up some dank lies

[Pre-Chorus: Uncle Dane]
So, I'm making death threats and I'm calling people "ni​gger"
Counting that cash while my channel's growing bigger
Never you mind that I was already banned
From my racist, homophobic, hate speech rants
Found a loophole, now it's my goal
To poison the online punch bowl
You never know who I might dox
So y'all can suck on my cocks

[Chorus: Uncle Dane]
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
Get your hat on, MLG
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
Get your sociopathy
And all we care about is news
Personal attacks and harassment is totally news

[Interlude: Keemstar]
"Like, I literally wanna kill this dude. It's not a threat, it's a promise, I want to fucking kill this dude."
"Oh, fucking righteous fucking N I G G E R, Alex is doing this shit!"
"Hmm, can't wait to report your death, haha! Like seriously? What's wrong with you, asshole?"
"Everybody type in the chat Alex is a stupid n i g g e r."
"I only do this show for money, that's it, alright? I don't do it to entertain people, that's just a fucking scam, I really hope you die of cancer. I hate every single one of you. Fuck the fans."
[Chorus: Uncle Dane]
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
Do a trickshot, MLG
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
Eat your popcorn, goatee
And all I report is the news
If you can call this news

[Verse 2: Uncle Dane]
Somebody once asked "Could you spare me from harassment?
Your content is a fucking disgrace"
I said "Yep, and to save my rep
I'm gonna bully you until you're dead
I'll punch you harder than my girlfriend's face"

[Pre-Chorus: Uncle Dane]
Well, the hate keeps coming for the show I'm running
Even if I get banned, I'll just keep on coming
Doesn't make sense to give up this shtick
I make mad money from being a dick
My revenue stream, it is my dream
To take online gossip to the extreme
I'm a sociopath, don't you know?
I'll do anything for a little dough

[Chorus: Uncle Dane]
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
Get your Keem on, Keemstar
Hey now, you're a Keemstar
You're an asshole, Keemstar