Mark Hollmann
Don’t Be the Bunny
[CLADWELL]
A little bunny in the meadow
Is nibbling grass without a care
He's so delightful as he hops for you
You say, "Hi, bunny"
And he stops for you
You pull your trigger
And he drops for you
Goodbye, bunny-boo;
Hello, rabbit stew!
(Spoken)
Get me, boys?
[STAFF spoken]
You tell 'em, boss!
[CLADWELL]
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the stew
Don't be the dinner
You have better things to do
It ain't no joke
That's why it's funny
So take your cue:
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the bunny
[HOPE, spoken]
But Daddy, we're talking about people, not animals
[CLADWELL, spoken]
People are animals, Hope, darling
[HOPE, spoken]
Animals with huge incisors and big floppy feet?
[CLADWELL, spoken]
Look closely, you'll see them. I do. I see them everywhere
(sung)
A little bunny at a toll booth
He needs a measly fifty cents
Our little bunny didn't plan ahead
Poor bunny simply hasn't got the bread!
He begs for mercy, but gets jail instead
Hasenpfeffer's in the air
As the bunny gets the chair!
(spoken)
See the moral, people?
[STAFF, spoken]
Clear as day, boss!
[CLADWELL]
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the dope
Don't be the loser
You're much better than that, Hope!
You're born to pow'r
You're in the money!
Advice to you-
[MCQUEEN & FIPP, spoken]
In re: The Bunny-
[CLADWELL]
Don't be the bunny!
[HOPE, spoken]
A little bunny at a tollbooth?
[CLADWELL, spoken]
You heard me.
[HOPE, spoken]
But Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars.
[CLADWELL, spoken]
Oh, don't they?
[HOPE, spoken]
No, actually, I don't think they do
[CLADWELL, spoken]
Live long enough, Hope darling, you see...many things
[HOPE, spoken]
Even a daughter doubting her father?
[CLADWELL]
A little bunny in a shoe box
He thinks he's found a brand new home
So snug and cozy on your closet floor
And then you open up your closet door
Now what's that bunny in my closet for?
With a mallet and some clippers
You find out: new bunny slippers!
(spoken)
Grasp the message, staff?
[STAFF]
Right behind you, boss!
[CLADWELL & STAFF]
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the shoe
You don't get stepped on -
[CLADWELL]
No, the one who steps is you!
[CLADWELL & STAFF]
You're stepping up
To where it's sunny
Step on the poor!
Don't be the bunny!
Don't be the bunny!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!