They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea

Should've gone to FreeCreditReport.com (Yee-haw)
I could've seen this comin at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts