Edward af Sillén
Swedish Smörgåsbord
[Petra]
I come from a country that's hard to find
Somewhere near the icy pole
But though we are freezing, please bear in mind
Sweden's gonna warm your soul

Our people are cold, but our elks are hot
A horny horde in ev'ry fjord
Our moose may be loose, but they hit the spot
On our Swedish Smörgåsbord

A tour of our nation is certain to impress
We've quite a few surprises for you
A Swedish chef and Death playing chess
And a girl with a dragon tattoo
Pah-pah-poo!

By winning this contest you get the chance
To host a show you can't afford
But then sell your country through song and dance
Here's our Swedish Smörgåsbord

We're green to our planet with eco-pride
Recycling is in our hearts
Mamma Mia
Ikea has gone world-wide
Good luck a**embling all the parts

We're strict and we're structured and seldom vent
Don't show emotion, never whine
Not easy to please, but we're quite content
When we get to stand in line

[Spoken] Does anyone know what this line is for?
Well, I better stay and find out

Proper and polite and private is our style
Never ever talk on a train
And if we see a stranger throw us a smile
He's either a drunk or insane
Everyday we face it
Fly on up and taste it
Try our Swedish Smörgåsbord
(Swedish Smörgåsbord)

Beneath the midnight sun
The blondes have all the fun
And if you long for stockings, say "Amen!"

From Vikings we descended
It's frightenin' what those men did
But see how we've evolved since then

Our roles are reversing
Our daddies are nursing
In all of our cities
Though men don't have t**ties
They can still stay at home to raise the kids

And our girls can handle their balls
With the best kickline of them all

[Instrumental]

[Spoken] You may now kiss the groom
Follow our example
Come and try a sample
Of our Swedish Smörgåsbord

It's time for some dinner, we pray you'll stay
Come and try our favourite course
We eat all our meatballs the Nordic way
Seasoned with a hint of horse

For Strindberg and Bergman
And Celsius, all rise
For Thor and Björn Borg
And the great Nobel Prize
There's Volvo and Garbo
The best lingonberry
And all of our problems digesting our dairy

[Girl]: Oh look it's Carola!
[Carola]: Ooh yeah, ooh
Captured by a love storm

[Petra]
We gave you Carola and Waterloo
And Diggi-Loo who all adored
We'll take you to heaven
Euphoria too

Come and join our party
Come on up and chill
There's room for everybody
Gravadlax and dill

On our aquavit, crayfish
Yucky salty liquorice
Randy Scandinavian race
With H&M and Ace of Base
Our hurdy-gurdy, super-duper
Fab-as-Abba, Super-Trouper

Swedish Smörgåsbord!