[Intro]
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
No penis, no God
Let me tell ya

[Verse 1]
I certainly ain’t no Christian, but I believe in Jesus;
There’s something ‘bout religion that’s only for freaks
When he was goin’ to high school
Jesus hung with the smokers
Surely just as much as he hung around the geeks

[Verse 2]
The Lord is up in Heaven, and we are all sinners;
There’s the Holy Mother Mary – I mean, yeah, right
And I believe in Santa and the fuckin’ tooth fairy
And the boogie man’ll get ya
When you turn out the light

[Chorus]
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
No penis, no God
[Verse 3]
Cut me and I will bleed; starve me, I’ll be hungry;
It’s odd on I’ll fuck you, and I’ll rot when I die
If that’s the way the world is, I can’t see the problem:
You only get all fucked up when you begin to lie

[Verse 4]
So, keep your hands off Jesus you religious wankers
The whole thing is bullshit, but who gives a toss?
If you just keep your distance
I’ll bet he’ll thank ya’s
The last time he was down here
You nailed him to a cross

[Outro]
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
Ain't no Christian, but I believe in Jesus
No penis, no God