[Intro: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Ladies and gentlemen, TISM are back
And we sincerely apologise
It's Ron versus Humphrey
It's Jock versus Euge
It's band versus critic
It's music versus you
It's lyric versus meaning
It's rock versus roll
It's world versus existence
It's God versus the soul

[Refrain: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What's it gonna be?

[Verse 1: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
I hate the righteous
I hate the sleaze
It's you can't say that v or you can't say that either
Man U or Man C?

[Refrain: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts v cunts
It's pricks v pricks
What you gonna do now?
[Verse 2: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Life is footy
We're all in tribes
But who you gonna go for
When you hate both sides?

[Bridge: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Are you problеm or solution?
Are you with us or against?
You'll get picketеd
If you sit on the fence

[Refrain: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
It's cunts versus cunts
Pricks versus pricks
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?
It's cunts versus cunts
Pricks versus pricks
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do now?

[Verse 3: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Everyone is screaming at me
But no one listens
Are you therapist or rapist?
TISM versus TISM
[Pre-Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's pricks or pricks
Arseholes or arseholes
Fuckwits or fuckwits
It's cunts or cunts

[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks
It's arseholes versus arseholes
It's fuckwits versus fuckwits

[Post-Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's Kim versus Kanye
Idi Amin versus Mugabe
It's dickhead versus cock
It's Will Smith versus Chris Rock
It's motorist v cyclist
It's attack versus defence
It's boss versus union
Influencer or influenced
Are you yob or are you wanker?
Are you rockstar or critic?
Will you burn or will you drown?
Strychnine versus arsenic
[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 4: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
I always worshipped the union
The little people's guardian
Then when I'd met a few of them
Felt like barracking for The Man
Let's sit down and talk as equals
Then decide that you were right
I'm the one who's weak and venal
I just needed to see the light
Like the guy at the barbeque
Tells you where your team went wrong
All the world's keyboard assaults you
Caps Lock permanently on
Fly-tipping their steaming garbage
For us all to feast upon
With opinions just like arseholes
You know everyone's got one

[Outro: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
It's cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks
It's cunts versus cunts
It's pricks versus pricks