[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix

[Verse 1: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
I saw his body thrashing 'round
I saw his pulse rate going down
I saw him in convulsive throes
I said, "I'll have one of those"

[Refrain 1: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins

[Verse 2: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Hillary had Everest in his veins
Armstrong did moon, was not the same
Heroes explore to give us hope
River pushed back the envelope

[Refrain 2: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Drank the slab, drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
Drank the slab, drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
[Verse 3: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
I injected some of Hendrix's junk
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane
Mama Cass's sandwich? I ate the same

[Refrain 3: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
Now I'm bored, now I'm bored
Now I'm bored, there's no stopping
Now I'm bored, now I'm bored
Now I'm bored, there's no stopping

[Verse 4: Ron Hitler-Barassi]
Now I'm bored and there's no stopping
I need another celeb to fill a coffin
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson

[Chorus: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix

[Outro: Humphrey B. Flaubert]
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
Drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug