TISM
The Parable of Glenn McGrath’s Haircut

[Refrain]
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath, oh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath, ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 1]
My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen
He was so shit scared he told me
And when he said that her dad was a cop
I thought he was joking
I told him he’s got to tell someone
And so he went and told a teacher
And the girl eventually got an abortion
He was fucking shittin' himself, let me tell you
But six months later, he was fuckin' around like always

[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath, ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath, ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
How did we win? Easy

[Verse 2]
"You better watch it", I thought to myself
But Roger was pretty fuckin' sure of himself
He was the guy who first bought a block of hash to a party
'Cause I was his friend, I was there
When he first showed it to people
We all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint
Where did he get it from?
My parents would've killed me if they knew
Thought we’d all turn into junkies or something
If we had too much
[Refrain]
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath
(Ooh-ooh) Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath

[Verse 3]
The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day Test
He’d turned into such a fat, normal yobbo cunt
"The wife nearly didn’t let me out today," he said
And he did all that chanting yobs do, like
"Ooh, ahh, Glenn McGrath"
It got you in the end, I thought to myself as I looked at Roger
Life got you in the end, pal
You were such a cocky successful winner when we were sixteen
But now you’re just another sad, fat prick
Sitting in the MCG high-fiving in self-congratulation
As if it’s you that had the skill
And determination to play for Australia
It’s the cunts with the bad haircuts
That you’ve got to watch out for
There’s never been a popular teenager yet
Who’s done rats with their life
It’s the fuckin' dorks that give it a real go
Glenn McGrath got 5 for 50 that day
[Refrain]
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath, ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath
Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath, ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath