A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

The Nostalgia Critic


Film is told in a language
With syntax and grammar
Some shots are adverbs

Others are pronouns
Still others conjunctions
You get the idea
Every shot has its place

Every shot has its place
If you're manning the lens
Don't be so lazy and lame
Every shot will look terribly dull
If a face fills the frame
Look how the camera wiggles and jolts
And it all looks the same

And so it has been
And so it is written
On the grave stone of Eisenstein
That films with shots so bloody boring
Don't stand the test of time


Lord, tell directors how to shoot movies
Make them on paaar
With student films at least!
Tell them
How to shoot
How to shoot movie staaars!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

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