[Intro: Jerky Boys]
Yeah
(Can I help you?)
Yeah, how you doin'? Who's in charge over there?
(What can I do for you, sir?)
Listen, you're the piano tuning guy, right?
(Yeah)
I need you to do me a favor

[Verse 1: Billy Boy and Leek Ratt]
Listen to the ballad of 40 Thevz number one
As I grab the microphone like a dagger does a gun
But I don't be jackin' fools for dey automobiles
I gained management publishing a record deal
I feel I been rappin' on the mic for so long
But still ain't nothin' goin' on but a funky song
Long as it's strong I remain
40 Thevz in the house, Billy Boy and the Gang

I put up wit this an' I put up wit that
I got mo' tricks than Felix the Cat's bag
Bags of all colors couldn't upset my tempo
A dark skinned bro is fulfilled like my circle
I'm a cheetah, you're a turtle over the top
My hurdle win dis rap race or should I say rat race
An' since I be the rat I'm in first place ya better play catch up
I'm servin' fools with the huh hiccups
[Bridge: Kurtis Blow]
Throw ya hands in the air an' wave 'em like you just don't care
Throw ya hands in the air an' wave 'em like you just don't care

[Verse 2: P.S. Pookie and Coolio]
I got some funk in my pocket for the true hip hoppers
I gets my props
When I bus' dese rhymes on top o' funky tracks
Puffin' on the crack I'll have none of that
Down wit the thieves I believe could be my runnin' pack
I'll steal your shoes while you're walkin' in 'em
I got the bomb that'll have you coughin' if you hit 'em
We couldn't get 'em up wit me if I was wearin' skates
I read bustas like books and see through 'em like lace

Now I gotta put it down like a real G only
If you ain't wit the program then hear from the voter
I'm down around the end like my name was Lawrence Taylor
I'm down with a rat dat used to be a sailor
To funk or not to funk, dat is the question
These fools better watch where dey steppin'
'Cause my act is like a secret weapon loaded an' cocked
So gimme a call 'cause I'm always on the clock

[Hook: Female singer]
Call me if you need someone to rock you
Call me, Coolio and the 40 Thevz
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
[Verse 3]
[Billy Boy]
Around the global the mobile dial the digits push in
One way or another, 40 Thevz breakin' in
Takin' on non believers in the industry
Who's to find sucker rappers an' put 'em out their misery

[P.S. Pookie]
I spit game like a newbie, got more drama than a movie
If you know me then you knew me as little P.S. Pookie
Like to wear my pants droopy
But I shine like a ruby
You can't do me
I'm down with the twenty times two Thevz

[Leek Ratt]
I throw into the hype wit my fresh pair of Airs
I'm down wit the hustler an' the gangsters an' the players
I'm hittin' fools hard like my name is Ronnie Lott
An' I'm down wit the circle 'cause you know it don't stop

[Coolio]
Fools don't wanna step 'cause the suckers know I'm packin'
Crack over the fence like my name was Reggie Jackson
Switchin' around the pitcher like Catfish Hunter
On the mound like Doc Gooden all rolled into one son
Ooh ah ooh ooh ah, 40 Thevz in the house gettin' large
[Hook: Female singer]
Call me if you need someone to rock you
Call me, Coolio and the 40 Thevz
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong

[Verse 4: Coolio]
It's time to step to the mic wit da steel in my clip
It's Cool' and the 40, like Gladys and the Pips or the O'Jays
But not the Simpson, you must be trippin'
From city to city we be tennis shoe pimpin'
I'm lookin' for some action, that's why I'm rappin'
I got a ship, you can ride, but I'm the captain so
Dippin' chicken tender in the barbecue funk
Just make sure you got a lot of room in your trunk

I'm a winner, Bill's a winner, P's a winner, Leek's a winner
Wouldn't you like to be a winner too?
Ooh I got a job to do, somebody's gotta lose it
Won't be me so I guess it's gotta be you
I'm jus' one in the pack of four black Macks that's
Down to gang bang if you want it like that
So bring yo' team yo' posse yo' crew
And you still can't see the thirty eight plus two

[Hook: Female singer]
Call me if you need someone to rock you
Call me, Coolio and the 40 Thevz
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
Call me if you need someone to rock you
Call me, Coolio and the 40 Thevz
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong
Ring ding dong, ring a ding ding ding dong

[Outro: Jerky Boys]
(One moment, please)
(May I help you?)
Yeah, let me speak to Fred [?]
(Yeah, who's calling?)
Look, jerky, I don't need to talk to you