I wanted to dedicate a song to you,
But all of my songs are about ex-girlfriends and puke.
So I sat down to write you a love song.
It was full of clichés
It wasn't impressing anyone.
Even though I tried really hard,
All I came up with was,
"You are a opossum living in the trashcan of my heart.
You're a opossum in my heart"

I'm sorry I left that towel on the floor
So sorry that I snore
Sorry I'm taking my band on tour
Sorry that I'm insecure
Sorry I'm awkward around your friends
Sorry I get jealous when you talk to other men
Sorry I drank all your wine again
Sorry I apologize so much
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up

And she said,
"Don't be so hard on yourself
You fucking idiot, I don't need anybody else
You stupid asshole, I'm for you
and you are for me,
But you've gotta get over your insecurities!"
And that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
So I tried to reciprocate with something romantic and sweet

When I got home I thought of the perfect thing to say
But of course in that moment, it didn't happen that way
I just held your hand and looked you in the eyes and I said,
"You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad."