[Verse 1]
Have you seen Captain Lariat as he saunters round the room
Chasing spiders with a broom fending off impending doom
Have you seen Captain Lariat, he’s bounding round the bend
With his band of salty men he’s at it once again
Captain Lariat he’s a dentist on the side
And a little dash of nitrous helps to send him on his ride

Have you seen Captain Lariat he is flying his flag high
Sipping Templeton Rye there’s a glaze upon his eye
Have you seen Captain Lariat, he fights the noble fight
Gallivanting through the night just to irritate the right
Captain Lariat he’s a dentist on the side
And a little crack of amyl helps to send him on his ride

[Chorus 1]
Although he’s never held commission, commandeered a rescue mission
In his mind he’s above the cut
He’s Captain Lariat
He’s Captain Lariat
He’s Captain Lariat

[Verse 2]
Have you seen Captain Lariat with his tattoo of Sean Penn
He’s happy once again he’s a man among his men
Hooray for Captain Lariat, he’s mindful of the helm
When he cruises through your realm, he’s bound to overwhelm
When he gets there he’s an oh so fancy gent
Never concerned about the effort or the money that he’s spent

[Chorus 2]
Although he’s never held commission he’s seen it on reality television
In his mind he’s above the cut
He’s Captain Lariat
He’s Captain Lariat
He’s Captain Lariat