[Verse 1]
Have you met my friend Henry?
Have you met my friend Sam?
One's long and lean, one's short and mean
Known quite well throughout this land

[Verse 2]
Have you heard my friend Henry?
Have you heard my friend Sam?
One's low and barks, one's quick and sharp
Known quite well throughout this land

[Verse 3]
I'd be dead if not for Henry
I'd be dead if not for Sam
They've spoke with those who've stood opposed
To the way I deal, the way I am

[Verse 4]
Grown to dislike my friend Henry
Grown to despisе my friend Sam
Too many times I've lost my mind
Fеlt them in my trembling hands