[Verse 1]
He's gotta stay in shape
He's gotta stay in shape
Eating Del Taco and sleeping in
Playing video games

He's smoking two packs a day
He's got dubstep in his veins
I smoke weed if my baby lets me
Or I won't get laid
Or I won't get laid

[Chorus]
And Max can't surf
Max can't surf
He gets real stoned and tries to make it work
But God knows, he's got no balance

[Verse 2]
Swimming with the dolphins
Jamming with the turtle
Don't give me no shit, I'm a full grown man
Trying to do the best that I can, dude

Gotta check the forecast
Throw away my skateboard
Stop wearing tight jeans
And put on some board shorts
[Chorus]
And Max can’t surf
Max can’t surf
He gets real stoned and tries to make it work
But God knows he's got no balance

[Bridge]
Smoking two packs a day
Smoking two packs a day
Smoking two packs a day
Smoking two packs a day
Smoking two packs a day
Smoking two packs a day

He gets real stoned, tries to make it work
But God knows he's a ginger