Jon Lajoie
High as Fuck
[Verse 1]
Have you ever watched the sun go down?
And you're thinking 'bout the world spinning 'round
Have you ever been high as fuck?

[Verse 2]
You're in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself
And your dog's looking at you like you need help
Have you ever been high as fuck?

[Verse 3]
Then you feel your heart pumpin' really fast
And you're convinced that you're gonna have a heart attack
Have you ever been high as fuck?

[Verse 4]
You close your eyes and you're on a chicken farm
The only problem's that the chickens have human arms
You say, "That's fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?"

[Verse 5]
You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
But you're scared because you think that they will know you're high
So you walk around the block to buy some time

[Verse 6]
You finally decide to go in the store
But you're so high you don't know why you're there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of there
[Verse 7]
You're walking home and your mouth is dry
You should've bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high

[Verse 8]
Thinking 'bout ketchup chips
And, for some reason, the game Battleship

[Outro]
And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games
Like Battleship when you were a kid
And how, as we get older, we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves
So you say, "Guess what? I'm gonna make up a game right now
And it involves a baseball bat and a porcupine
And I'm gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat"
But then you don't know where to find a porcupine
So you go on eBay and you do a search but people don't sell porcupines on the internet
And you say, "You know what, world? You've got me cornered again"
I'm gonna roll another joint
You ever eat a whole bag of crackers that were so old
That they weren't crispy anymore?
Have you ever been high as fuck?