[Intro]
It’s like dreaming is counterproductive
For some, it’s beneficial
For others, it’s detrimental
[Verse 1]
Life has begun
Exit out your mother’s chamber
Cock back that pistol and there’s no goin’ back
Ain’t no change up’s
It was your father’s pistol that put life in her magazine
The same day your uncle’s life was taken from a pistol with ease
From that day forward your father was a true alcoholic
Never missed a beat, always had a reason to be at the bar
When you was born, he tried to kick the habit, be a pappy
But it kicked back, he would relapse and then repeated the pattern
Growing up, you were too familiar with getting smacked in the back of your head
Being reminded, “You’re an accident”
It was systematic the way he made it clear
He would punch your moms in her face and make it appear to be your fault
His words were so convincing
You were so young, you were convinced to kill yourself
He was missing out on a relationship he should’ve kept
Now you disinfect the streets full of pests with a Tec
You blame it on his neglect
[Hook]
I never did you wrong
Why would you try to kill me off?
You used to call on me
Just 'cause it seems like hope that I bring don’t make a change
Now you write me off as if all your dreams are gone
[Verse 2]
The needle drops on the song of misfortune
It’s unfortunate he’s so unsupportive
Looked for abortion clinics to sever responsibilities
He said, “Fuck having a baby, keep it away from my vicinity”
Goddamnit, that backlash was strong enough to split your soul in half
Enough to wanna be picking a pistol up and make it blast
Right on the next motherfucker tryna look for some ass
Like, “I just lost my fiancé, why would you get a pass?”
The outcome so far from what you expected
He was acting reckless the minute he found out you was pregnant
I mean, he wasn’t the type of n***a to pick up a tool and flex it
He was so calm and collected
Well respected, check it
Even your family was in the deepest gaze
They was infatuated with his graduation, and it pays
You thought of beautiful future, now it’s tainted anguish
From the constant drinking and domestic violence, ain’t no peaceful language
[Hook]
I never did you wrong
Why would you try to kill me off?
You used to call on me
Just 'cause it seems like hope that I bring don’t make a change
Now you write me off as if all your dreams are gone
[Verse 3]
A phone call from your father saying, “Congratulations!”
The timing couldn’t be better: three days from your graduation
All seemed well, you had a fiancée
She bumps Beyoncé as y’all cruise down the freeway
But, you can overhear your mom say something about your brother
Something is up; you can hear your father shut up your mother
She insists to tell you, but he says it’s not for discussion
He said, “Derell’s felonious ways should not cause a disruption
So, do not ask about him”
You threaten to hang up the phone if he don’t spit it out
But, he’s concerned that you’ll follow your brother or take a different route
As fate would have it, the day that you became a pappy
Your brother was tryna leave the game and make his family happy
Oh, such good news! You wonder why your father held it
Except there’s more to the story, your brother was just a weapon
His gang plotted on robbin’ you and your family
He intervened on the scene, became a martyr, so rest in peace
But, you can never rest easy knowing his mortality has been verified
Thinking that family never dies, especially not your brother
“Why was his life taken early? Did my success need sacrifice?”
Your anger shows in the way that you treat your woman
You tell her your drinking habits exist because she did not get an abortion
You refuse to admit it’s because the death of your brother
But now, 20 years later, your son has just become a statistic
All the while, his abortion was supposed to prevent it