[Spoken by Gary Yudman]
Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Earl's Court. My name is Gary Yudman, and we are going to have a great show this evening. The band is backstage and will be ready to go in just a few minutes. Before the show begins, the house management would just like to request a few things:

First, please no fireworks. Also, please no flash cameras. And any unauthorized audio or video equipment that is being used may be confiscated, so, please, save yourself a lot of hassle

Well, I think the band is about ready to go now