One Monday morning, I got up late
And there were these monkeys, outside ze gate
The guard tried to stop them but he had no luck
The monkeys got free and they ran amok

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

My office was run by ze studio nurse
I came downstairs und vat could be vorse?
Ze monkeys was doing a crazy dance
They put buggies in my underpants

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
Monkeys danced day and I danced too
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

I ran outside to get a stick
But I tell you friends, those monkeys was quick
'Cause when I returned, much to my disgrace
Those monkeys had the nurse in a mad embrace

Nurse:I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
Yako:For a nickel, I'll give you a clue
Dot:I didn't know your eyes were blue
I don't know what to say ze monkeys won't do
I went to me bath for a shower and shave
The monkeys gonna put me into my grave
The entire bathroom was laid to waste
And they shaved my head with minty toothpaste

I don't know what to say ze monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
They's crazy nutso, I'm telling you
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Well by zis time I was feeling dread
Zey was using a shoe brush to shine me head
I asked them to leave but they stayed around
Zey pulled the chain and ee! I went down

I don't know what to say ze monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
Call my lawyer, I'm ready to sue
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Well my patients ran out and I'm telling you sure
Tomorrow I show those monkeys the door
And if they don't leave, I'm inviting you
To my house for dumplings and monkey stew

I don't know what to say ze monkeys won't do
-Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do
Now I'm in the stew, oh pooh!
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
Watch out for monkeys I'm telling you
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do
We're not monkeys, we're just cuckoo
Don't know what to say, the Warners won't do