Rob Paulsen
FLOTUS, FLOTUS, What Do You Know About Us?
[DOT]
Please put two minutes on the clock
[YAKKO]
Uh, no no no no, you're going to sing about every first-lady in two minutes?
Have you practiced this?
[DOT]
Well, no. I have not
First first-lady Martha Washington stood strong at Valley Forge
And good old Dolly Madison saved Martha's husband George
From the British in the White House in the War of 1812
These were not just wives of presidents, but patriots themselves!
Eleanor Roosevelt, lady on a mission
Head of the United Nations human rights commission
Just like a tea bag, you knew Eleanor was strong
'Cause she thrived when in hot water, just like me singing this song!
Lady Bird Johnson kept America clean
Betty Ford and Nancy Reagan, too, if you know what I mean.
Michelle Obama is an icon who put veggies in your school
And like Jacqueline Onassis, the epitome of cool!
Rosalynn Carter lobbied for the Equal Rights Amendment
Florence Harding ran a paper, till her husband became president
Abigail Adams helped John form his politics
And her son, John Quincy Adams, was POTUS number 6!
[WAKKO]
Umm? How many first ladies are there?
[DOT]
Just 45
[YAKKO]
Uhhhhhh, I hate to tell you this, but you only have one minute left
[DOT]
What!? Oh no! That can't be right! Ah!
Martha Jefferson, that's just eleven
Now I'll have to rush
Pat Nixon, and Melania Trump
And Barb and Laura Bush
Lou Hoover, Sarah Polk
And Lucy Hayes, what was I thinking?
I had three verses on the tragic life of Mary Todd Lincoln
Louisa Adams, Frances Cleveland, Elizabeth Monroe
Julia and Letitia Tyler, Mamie Eisenhower, oh no!
Edith Roosevelt, Jane Pierce, Ellen Arthur, I thought I had it in me!
Caroline and Anna Harrison, and Helen Taft, Ida McKinley!
Grace Coolidge, Lucretia Garfield, only seven more to go
Abby Fillmore, Rachel Jackson, Margaret Taylor. Yeah so close!
Eliza Johnson, Edith Wilson, Julia Grant. So close, I can!
Thanks to Hillary Rodham Clinton, we almost had a first man!
[WAKKO]
Wow! Two minutes! You did it!
[DOT]
That's why the right man for the job is always a woman. Ding!