Gray hair, glasses, suitcase
Humble, clever
Constantly working for peace
Uganda, Congo
And the Oslo treaty plan
Oh my God, what a plan

Not as famous as Gahr Støre
Not a daddy's boy like Jens
But when hand grenades are flying
There's just one man you can trust

[Refrain 1]
When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations superhero man

Mad dictator with a gun
Send in Jan Egeland
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland

[Verse]
Blue eyes, firm hands, nice legs
Clean shaved body
Drinking his protein shakes
Spray-tan, skin cream
And buttocks like hе was eighteen
What a peacekeeping machinе
And he stares into the mirror
Flexing muscles in the night
He says "Boy, I think you're ready
To protect some human rights"

[Refrain 2]
When there's war and all is hell
Bring in Jan Egeland
The United Nations Superhero man

He plays golf with Kofi Annan
And looks at maps with George Cloon
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland

Egeland (Egeland)
Egeland (Egeland)
Egeland (Egeland)
Ohhhhhh!

When he's sad he goes to funerals
In unnormally much amount of rain
Large amounts of water in his face
But that doesn't hide his pain

He breaks down just like a homo
And starts crying just like a girl
But I guess it's okay to cry little man
When your dayjob is saving the world
[Refrain 3]
When there's war and all is hell
Send in Jan Egeland
He's a macho muscle-pumping crying god

If there's one man you should trust
It is the Janny-boy
Oh how I wish, I was Jan Egeland