Kelsey Grammer
A Rumor In St. Petersburg
[AN OLD WOMAN]
St. Petersburg is gloomy!

[A YOUNGER WOMAN]
St. Petersburg is bleak!

[A SHIVERING MAN]
My underwear got frozen standing here all week!

[A GROUP]
Oh, since the revolution, our lives have been so grave

[ENSEMBLE]
Thank goodness for the gossip that gets us through the day, hey!
Have you heard there's a rumor in St. Petersburg?
Have you heard what they're saying on the street?

[FRIGHTENED MAN]
Although the tsar did not survive, one daughter may be still alive!

[ENSEMBLE]
The Princess Anastasia!

[FRIGHTENED MAN]
But please do not repeat!
[ENSEMBLE]
It's a rumor, a legend, a mystery!
Something whispered in an alleyway or through a crack!
It's a rumor that's part of our history

[A BABUSHKA]
They say her royal grand mama will pay a royal sum

[ENSEMBLE]
To someone who can bring the princess back!

[BLACK MARKETEER #1]
A ruble for this painting, it's Romanov, I swear!

[BLACK MARKETEER #2]
Count Yusupov's pajamas, comrades, by the pair!

[BLACK MARKETEER #3]
I got these from the palace, it's lined with real fur!

[BLACK MARKETEERS & DIMITRI]
It could be worth a fortune if it belonged to her!

[DIMITRI]
It's the rumor, the legend, the mystery!
It's the Princess Anastasia who will help us fly!
You and I, friend, will go down in history!
We'll find a girl to play the part and teach her what to say
Dress her up and take her to Paris!
Imagine the reward her dear old Grand mama will pay!
Who else could pull it off but you and me?
We'll be rich
[VLADIMIR]
We'll be rich

[DIMITRI]
We'll be out

[VLADIMIR]
We'll be out

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRI]
And St. Petersburg will have some more to talk about!

[ENSEMBLE]
Ssh!
Have you heard there's a rumor in St. Petersburg?
Have you heard what they're saying on the street?
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Have you heard? There's a rumor in St. Petersburg!
Have you heard

[A DELIGHTED GOSSIPER & ENSEMBLE]
Comrades, what do you suppose?

[ENSEMBLE]
A fascinating mystery!
[DIMITRI]
The biggest con in history!

[ENSEMBLE]
The Princess Anastasia
Alive or dead...

[WINDOW WASHER]
Who knows!
Ssh!