[Verse 1]
Video countdown, cyber phallic optics
Profligate talk shows scrounging for a topic
Rock-a-buy gravy train, cradle's gonna rock me
Thirty-seven million's what Larry Parker got me
World War fourteen, my first Sony
Beatles wrote the Nike song and called it macaroni
Billy Jean, Burger King, chauvinist pig pen
U.S. Army only wants a few straight men

[Chorus]
Ah
Volvo cowgirl 99, yeah yeah

[Verse 2]
Panaflex, Soloflex, Genuflect Pope
What the world needs now is babies, guns and hope
Guardian angel dust in the wind cries Mary
Wanna be Madonna but the price is too high, very
Perfect rhythm Nazis in the pagan rhythm nation
Everybody's equal in the glow of radiation
Got a four-wheel drive and I park it in the driveway
When I get drunk, I drive it on the parkway
Gotta get a TV set for my car
Tonight's the Battle of the Network Stars
[Chorus]
Ahh
Volvo cowgirl 99, yeah yeah

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 2]
Saniflush Bud-Bowl makin' me sick
'Cause anybody in a helmet looks just like a dick
Steely Dan, rather be hammer than a nail
The Serbs, the Poles, and the check's in the mail
Eat, sleep, live, die, fuckin' record label
G Gordon Liddy under the table, table, table
Clarence Thomas, Englishman, Frank Dileo's dong
Maybe if I'd let him, I'd have had a hit song

[Chorus]
Ahh
Volvo cowgirl 99, yeah yeah
Ahh
Volvo cowgirl 99, yeah yeah
Ahh
Volvo cowgirl 99, yeah yeah