The women gather because it is not unusual to seek comfort in our hours of stress
A man must be buried
It is not unusual that the old bury the young though it is an abomination
It is not strange that the unwise and the ungentle carry the banner of humaneness though it is a castration of the spirit
It no longer shatters the intellect that those who make war call themselves diplomats
We are no longer surprised that the unfaithful pray loudest every Sunday in church and sometimes in rooms facing east
Though it is a sin and a shame
So how do we judge a man
Most of us love from our need to love
Not because we find someone deserving
Most of us forgive because we have trespassed
Not because we are magnanimous
Most of us comfort because we need comforting
Our ancient rituals demand that we give what we hope to receive
And how do we judge a man
We learn to greet when meeting, to cry when parting
And to soften our words at times of stress
The women gather with cloth and ointment, their busy hands bowing to laws that decree willows shall stand swaying but unbroken against even the determined wind of death
We judge a man by his dreams, not alone his deeds
We judge a man by his intent, not alone his shortcomings
We judge a man because it is not unusual to know him through those who love him
The women gather strangers to each other because they have loved a man
It is not unusual to sift through ashes and find an unburnt picture…