[Verse 1: Graham]
Sometimes I sit and wonder
Why I’m alone on Prom night
Is it because I’m doin’ shit like this?
I have no social skills or
Inhibitions at all
So it don’t matter what I say

Such as
Every half a minute in Africa, half a child dies
And here’s another thought inside my mind
I want to have sex with you as the episode of SpongeBob
With the squeaky boots plays idly in the background

Like quietly, but still noticeable enough that it’s strange

[Chorus: Graham]
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background

[Verse 2: Will]
What if guys had titties, and what if they were huge?
Like, what if they were bigger than a woman’s boobs?
Do you think they’d notice, or would be objectified?
Do you think we’d bitch about it just like they do all the time?
If dead people can’t feel a thing, then can they bust a nut?
It seems like I’m the only one who thinks about this stuff
I mean, can their corpse feel me jerkin’ them off from inside their grave?
Or would it be like jerkin’ off a cow?
[Chorus: Graham]
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background

[Interlude: SpongeBob SquarePants & Fish #2]
And watch this, Mr. Krabs!
Can I take your order?
Yeah, I’ll have the Krusty special
Thank you sir! I will squeak when it’s ready

[Bridge: Belak]
Man, fuck Pornhub
I be jackin’ off to the universe now (uh huh)
That’s how I like to go get my penis around (yes sir)
And you know I got squeaky boots on in the background
I remember touchin’ on a booby
For the first time, feelin’ goofy goober
Didn’t really know what I was doin’
But I wasn’t gonna walk out as a loser

If I can do it, you can do it, anything is possible!

[Chorus: OMEN]
1, 2, 3, Come on!
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background
(Every half a minute in Africa, half a child dies)
I want to fuck you
With squeaky boots in the background
(Africa)
I want to fuck you
(I, I jerk off cows in my free time)
With squeaky boots in the background
(Free time)
I want to fuck you
(Woo!)
With squeaky boots in the background
(I jerk off cows!)
[Ending: Graham & Belak]
I want to fuck you (uh, uh huh)
With squeaky boots in the background (ooh tho)

[Outro: OMEN & Belak]
Anybody wanna go to Wendy’s?
Uh huh
I could use some Wendy’s
Nah man, Arby’s got the beef
That’s some gay shit