[Verse 1]
She threw good money after bad
She bought a ticket to America, a Coca-Cola and a magazine
But in the final reel she knew she'd see justice
Her brother stayed and played the town
He's holding up a bank like Harpo Marx
He's saying "if I walk away right now these walls will fall down"
Not too many people remember that joke now

[PreChorus 1]
But in an office without windows they declared the world was flat
And decided to create a fool for the World would believe that
All for a song and dance and an edible hat

[Hook]
Carmen Miranda, won't you come home?
Carmen Miranda, won't you come home?
Won't you come home?

[Verse 2]
And when the picture house closed down
There was a porno shop, now that is gone
And all the things that once belonged to you belong to everyone
They know the foolish way she looked
They say "why don't you speak the way she spoke?"
That's when I give the punchline to an old national joke:
[PreChorus 2]
If you're a police dog, where's your police badge?
And if you're a cowboy, where's your spurs?
If you're an oilman, where's your oil well?:
You know, the ones marked "his and hers"
She wasn't the only one fooled by a Hollywood word

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
And now the weatherman predicts
That if it rains, he'll blow his brains right on the air
So you all decide to tune in, though you don't know if you care
For now the news is just show-biz
They make a trivial case of every curse
And food is just like cabaret, and vice versa

[PreChorus 1]

[Hook until Fadeout]