[Verse 1: Jimmy Pop & Joey Fatone]
I'm quite the sped, I never shred
Not cool (Not cool)
But my bros all call me Itch (With the silent "B")
But that spells "Bitch" (Fits you perfectly)
Chaz Bono dickbag, word fuck tick
Not cool (Not cool)
And I smell like regret and tequila (What's that even mean?)
I have no idea (You're livin' the dream)

[Pre-Chorus: Jimmy Pop]
Hey, you
You dance like those assholes I see
In old Molly Ringwald movies
I think you're as uncool as me
Hey, you
You dance like those assholes I see
In old Molly Ringwald movies
I think you're as uncool as me

[Chorus: Jimmy Pop]
And I dance!
They don't think you're all that cool
They like you for your stepdad's pool
They don't think you're all that cool
But your vampire fiction rules
[Verse 2: Jimmy Pop & Joey Fatone]
I'm such a tit, I say dumb shit
Not cool (Not cool)
And my friends think that I like men (That's because you do)
Don't even listen to them (No one's judging you)
John Goodman gut, slow kid haircut
Not cool (Not cool)
Do you like Renaissance fairs? (Where'd you get that scarf?)
'Tis what thy lord doth wear (I'll be in the car)

[Pre-Chorus: Jimmy Pop]
Hey, you
You dance like those assholes I see
In old Molly Ringwald movies
I think you're as uncool as me
Hey, you
You dance like those assholes I see
In old Molly Ringwald movies
I think you're as uncool as me

[Chorus: Jimmy Pop]
And I dance!
They don't think you're all that cool
They like you for your stepdad's pool
They don't think you're all that cool
But your vampire fiction rules
[Bridge: Jimmy Pop]
Dancin' with myself in the dark on the ceiling
Dancin' with myself in the dark on the ceiling

[Chorus: Jimmy Pop]
And I dance!
They don't think you're all that cool
They like you for your stepdad's pool
They don't think you're all that cool
But your vampire fiction rules

[Outro: Jimmy Pop]
Let's go to Civil War reenactments
Throw some back and yell "Too soon!" at them
Let's go to Civil War reenactments
Warning! Spoiler alert