T.S. Eliot
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
[Danny Collins]
Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins]
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns

[Naoimh Morgan]
Quick-change comedians

[Danny Collins]
Tight-rope walkers

[Naoimh Morgan]
And acrobats

[Danny Collins]
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

[Naoimh Morgan]
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear

[Naoimh Morgan]
If the area window is found ajar
And the bedroom looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
Which presently fails to be waterproof

[Danny Collins]
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls
[Naoimh Morgan]
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
The family will say

[Danny Collins]
"It's that horrible cat!

[Naoimh Morgan]
It was Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
Or Rumpelteazer"
And most of the time, they leave it at that

[Naoimh Morgan]
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
Have a very unusual gift of the gab
We're highly efficient cat burglars as well

[Danny Collins]
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove

[Naoimh Morgan]
We have no regular occupation
[Danny Collins]
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

[Naoimh Morgan]
When the family a**embles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes

[Danny Collins]
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
Then the family will say

[Naoimh Morgan]
"It's that horrible cat!

[Danny Collins]
It was Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
Or Rumpelteazer"

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And most of the time, we leave it at that

[Naoimh Morgan]
Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
Have a wonderful way of working together

[Naoimh Morgan]
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather

[Danny Collins]
We'd go through the house like a hurricane

[Naoimh Morgan]
And no sober person could take his oath

[Danny Collins]
"Was it Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
Or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?"

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library, there comes a loud ping
From the vase which that was commonly said to be Ming
And the family will say

[Francesca Hayward]
"Now which was which cat?"

[Naoimh Morgan]
"It was Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And there's nothing at all to be done about that"