[Danny Collins]
Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins]
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns

[Naoimh Morgan]
Quick-change comedians

[Danny Collins]
Tight-rope walkers

[Naoimh Morgan]
And acrobats

[Danny Collins]
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

[Naoimh Morgan]
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear
[Naoimh Morgan]
If the area window is found ajar
And the bedroom looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
Which presently fails to be waterproof

[Danny Collins]
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls

[Naoimh Morgan]
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
The family will say

[Danny Collins]
"It's that horrible cat!

[Naoimh Morgan]
It was Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
Or Rumpelteazer"
And most of the time, they leave it at that
[Naoimh Morgan]
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
Have a very unusual gift of the gab
We're highly efficient cat burglars as well

[Danny Collins]
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove

[Naoimh Morgan]
We have no regular occupation

[Danny Collins]
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

[Naoimh Morgan]
When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes

[Danny Collins]
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
Then the family will say

[Naoimh Morgan]
"It's that horrible cat!

[Danny Collins]
It was Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
Or Rumpelteazer"

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And most of the time, we leave it at that

[Naoimh Morgan]
Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
Have a wonderful way of working together

[Naoimh Morgan]
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather

[Danny Collins]
We'd go through the house like a hurricane

[Naoimh Morgan]
And no sober person could take his oath

[Danny Collins]
"Was it Mungojerrie

[Naoimh Morgan]
Or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?"

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library, there comes a loud ping
From the vase which that was commonly said to be Ming
And the family will say

[Francesca Hayward]
"Now which was which cat?"

[Naoimh Morgan]
"It was Mungojerrie

[Danny Collins]
And Rumpelteazer

[Danny Collins & Naoimh Morgan]
And there's nothing at all to be done about that"