Two drummers sat at dinner in a grand hotel one day
While dining they were chatting in a jolly sort of way;
And when a pretty waitress brought them a tray of food
They spoke to her familiarly in a manner rather rude

At first she did not notice them or make the least reply
But one remark was passed that brought the teardrops to her eye;
And facing her tormentor, with cheeks now burning red
She looked a perfect picture as appealingly she said:

"My mother was a lady like yours, you will allow
And you may have a sister who needs protection now;
I've come to this great city to find a brother dear
And you wouldn't dare insult me, sir, if Jack were only here."

It's true, one touch of nature, it makes the whole world kin
And ev'ry word she uttered seemed to touch their hearts within;
They sat there stunned and silent, until one cried in shame
"Forgive me, Miss! I meant no harm, pray tell me what's your name?"

She told him and he cried again, "I know your brother, too
Why, we've been friends for many years and he often speaks of you;
He'll be so glad to see you, and if you'll only wed
I'll take you to him as my wife, for I love you since you said:

"My mother was a lady like yours, you will allow
And you may have a sister, who needs protection now;
I've come to this great city to find a brother dear
And you wouldn't dare insult me, sir, if Jack were only here