[Intro]
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars, no handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars, no handlebars

[Verse 1]
Look at me, look at me
Hands in the air like it's good to be
Alive, and I'm a famous rapper
Even when the paths are all crooked-y
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And I'm proud to be an American
Me and my friends saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took?
I can do anything that I want 'cause look—

[Chorus 1]
I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome, no metronome
And I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone, on the telephone
[Verse 2]
Look at me, look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
Alive, in such a small world
I'm all curled up with a book to read
I can make money, open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty-four miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers, shakers, and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no resistance 'cause—

[Chorus 2]
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone, with a microphone
And I can split the atom of a molecule
Of a molecule, of a molecule

[Trumpet Solo]​

[Verse 3]
Look at me, look at me, driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be alive and on top
My reach is global, my tower secure
My cause is noble, my power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let 'em all die in exasperation
Have 'em all healed from their lacerations
Or have 'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like 'em
And I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command because—
[Chorus 3]
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite, by satellite
And I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope, through a telescope
And I can end the planet in a holocaust (Ah!)
In a holocaust (Ah!)
In a holocaust (Ah!)
In a holocaust (Ah!)
In a holocaust (Ah!)
In a holocaust (Ah!)
(Ah!)

[Outro]
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars, no handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars, no handlebars