SAM:
Havana! Havana! Havana freakin' Cuba!
The kid is heading for a crash
He'll run into Castelli there
They'll shoot him in the belly there
They'll cut him up and stuff him in the trash!

Holy cow Havana!
Havana I'm going to Havana!
What else am I supposed to do?
I need a gun I need a pill
I need a map I need a will
I'll save his neck and Lola's too!

Who am I kidding?
I'm no hero I'm just a average
S.O.B. this is the kind of job for someone muscle
Bound and kind of witless and besides
It scares me shitless! who am I kidding?
I'm no hero

DOORMAN:
He's no hero

SAM:
I ain't no Tarzan in a tree
DOORMAN:
We'll drink to that

SAM:
This ain't the kind of job for some old fart like me

GLADYS:
Castelli! Castelli!
You gotta stop Castelli!
The kid don't know him like we do before
He finished wit'cha well you'll never know
What hit'cha and it ain't a pretty pit'cha I tell you!

SAM:
Alright,alright, I'm going!
I'm going that settles it, I'm going!
I'll teach you not to mess with me!
I'll give him this!

GLADYS:
You'll give him that!

SAM:
I'll beat him up

GLADYS:
You'll knock him flat
BOTH:
Just like a kid of twenty-three

SAM:
Who am I kidding? I'm no youngster

GLADYS:
You're only mature like an old cheese

SAM:
It takes me hours just to pee

GLADYS:
You peed enough already

SAM:
This ain't the kind of job. For some old poop like me

GLADYS:
This is exactly the job for someone Oh...Sam

ALL (BUT SAM):
Looks like we got ourselves a hero

SAM:
I'm no hero
ALL:
Sammy, we know that. You'll come through

SAM:
I'm through already

GLADYS:
You're just startin', Sammy

ALL:
This is exactly the job for someone smart like you

SAM:
But I got ulcers

ALL:
And with heart like you

SAM:
And I got hemorrhoids

ALL:
A sweet old fart like you