Various Artists
Protean Politics
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
Greetings, Custodes, how are you this day?
Have you brought me any cool ancient tech to display?
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
No we have not, but to ask you for a favour
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
That's all too bad, because I'd like a new shaver
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
The Adeptus Mechanicus' ranks you have climbed
Even though you seem to explode all the time
This seems quite suspicious, you have to agree
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
That is just my drivers being crappy, see?
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
Then how is it you can keep surviving these blasts?
To all the other Techpriests, it badly contrasts
Your sentience it seems to return from the dead
How this could be, you might want unsaid
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
You come to my planet with friction and strife?
You somehow believe that I can flee the afterlife?
Please do tell me, fleshling, is this some kind of goof?
I don't reckon that you brought any actual proof?
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
It's a favour I seek, not some sort of a brawl
Were it not for my Lord I'd not be here at all
Now, tell me, where is the Proteus Protocol?
Withhold information and we'll be your downfall
[Captain-General falls over]
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL, spoken]
Y-You... You al... You all right..?
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL, spoken]
Sound mate, go on, where's the Proteus Protocol?
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
There is no such technology, you must be high
[SHIELD-HOST PROTEUS]
*stomp stomp stomp* You lie!
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
It has been confirmed to be in your supply!
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
I'm the Mechanicus' Lord! You dare treat me like this?
[LRAK]
Keep dawdling and on your cables we'll piss!
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
Where the Protocol is we still haven't heard
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
Your claim is absurd, you have no proof I use it!
[HAMMURABI UNFERTH]
How dare you, you colossal mechanical nerd!
He does not need proof, he's the Emperor's Word!
When you go and reject our Emperor's truths
Then, darling, I'm sorry, but out goes your screws!
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
I'm the Omnissiah's Voice, and my word is as true!
[HAMMURABI UNFERTH]
Oh really, you think so? Well-*clap clap* Fuck you!
How about we go ahead and call our Emperor?
He's got a text to speech now
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
And a fiery temper
[LOCKWARDEN]
Here's an Astropath, why don't we make the call?
We'll check in and see what he thinks of this stall?
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
That you have the gall!
[LRAK]
Oh, are you gonna bawl?
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
I hate you all
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
This is getting banal
Please bring to us the Protocol
[FABRICATOR-GENERAL]
Fine
[CAPTAIN-GENERAL]
Yes!
[SHIELD-HOST PROTEUS]
Victory for the Captain-General!