(The Whiffles)
Squeaky clean, that's what they call us
Our thoughts are pure and grooming is flawless
We're well bred, well mannered, and, well, just nice
And when you rub our hair it sounds like mice
*Squeak*

Squeaky clean down to our marrow
We're very straight and extremely narrow
Our drink of choice is
*breathe, smell* Ahhh
Listerine
It keeps our insides extra squeaky clean

When vulgar people curse *tist, tist*
When heathens grunt and stammer
We don't know which is worse *tut, tut*
Their language or their grammar
They neither show refinement or an ounce of self restraint
They may think it's proper English but
It's not!
(Most assuredly it's not)

Yes, I'm squeaky clean but ever so lonely
Wish I was squeaking in your ears only
'Cause, gosh, I think your
*beat, beat, beat*
Peachy keen!
When I see you I feel extra squeaky clean
(Allison)
Squeaky Clean, this is my song for
The kind of boy I'm told that I long for
Upright, upstanding, and up-to-snuff
I know one kiss from him would be enough

Someone squeaky clean, shining and sterling
Like a baton that needs some twirling
That's why I use Vaseline
So my hands remain unchafed and squeaky clean

(The Whiffles)
She makes my spirit rise
She sets my soul a spinnin'
It's bluer in her eyes
Than any pool I've been in

The two of us together would be such a perfect match
If she'd only say she'd have me
*bell whistle*
What a catch!

What a catch
What a catch
What a catch!
Squeaky clean, promise me Venus
I'll get to show her my squeaky cleaness

For then she'd be my squeaky queen
In the everlasting kingdom of squeaky clean!