MRS VERNON-WILLIAMS:
I am of the opinion that morals
Are what separate humans from swine
Everyone needs to have morals
Specifically... mine

It's one's duty to set an example
And to always comport oneself decently
A worthy endeavor at which I failed NEVER!
Well, not recently

For you see...

I did something wrong, once
One tiny thing wrong, once
A small indiscretion
A minor transgression
I blundered a tad
Told a little white lie
Just a scooch off the truth
But it did lead to heartache
And that was...uncouth

Yes, I did something wrong, once
One teensy thing wrong, once
It was somewhat unseemly
Not somewhat extremely
And rather lowbrow
Yes, I confess, I did something wrong, once
Is it too late to make it right now?
My life overall has been blameless
As I scan it few faults do I find
Why even those three months with Hitler...
Never mind

The point is I've been through my closet
And that closet has only one skeleton
One breach of decorum waiting a forum
To tell it in

For I did something wrong, once
One itsy bitsy thing wrong, once
Showed a slight lack of candor
All right it was slander
All right it was bad
It was shameful, amoral
Disgraceful, unlawful
Look, I'll be blunt
It was just friggin' awful

Yes, I did something wrong, once
Just egregiously wrong, once
You may think I'm self-righteous
The truth is I might just be
Un-holier-than-thou
Okay, one might say
I did something wrong, once
But perhaps I can make it right now
I wrestled with my conscience
For it knew that I had sinned
I wrestled with my conscience
I got pinned! I got pinned!

Now I'm haunted with the memories
Of the pain I put people through
I'm haunted by the memories
They say boo, they say boo, they say boooo!

I'm regrettably of the opinion
That I've not merely broken the law
But in causing the death of two innocent people
And thus leaving their son as an orphan who lives in a bottomless cesspool of stigma
I've made a faux pas

All my life I've been seen as a beacon
High society's shining epitome
But now the opinions of matrons and minions
Mean shit to me

Yes, I did something wrong, once
Just repulsively wrong, once
But I'm tired of seeing
This stain on my being
It's driving me mad!
So today I'm off on a mission
I call it Operation Contrition
And I'm making this vow
I'll complete it somehow
This is it
I admit I did something wrong, once
But I'm going to right it
Right now