[Stilgoe, Skellern, both]

[Spoken]
We thought we'd now save you ever having to go to a folk concert again
Folk music is normally done by groups of people so that no one person has to take the blame for it

And folk singers always have proper jobs in the daytime:they are polytechnic lecturers, civil servants, quantity surveyors, any of the sort of job where when you get home in the evening you want to make a very loud noise indeed. And this is what turns them to folk music

This song is about three quantity surveyors who formed a folk group

It is, to my certain knowlеdge, the only song evеr written about three quantity surveyors who formed a folk group

[Folk guitar intro]

A quantity surveyor once inside a pub did sit
He wore an Aran sweater
The heavy chunky knit
He sipped an anxious pint because he knew ere very long
He'd got to sing the folk club in the public bar a song

Hi me roo collapsalorum
Hi me roo falay, O
Ring tum tarradiddle fiddle-iddle eye-tye
Haul the sails away, O

[Laughter]
More quantity surveyors came, the next one played the bass
The third one too then took an old banjo out of its case
And joined in with the sea shanty, each Aran sweatered man
As only three town dwelling quantity surveyors can

Hi me roo collapsalorum
Hi me roo falay, O
Ring tum tarradiddle fiddle-iddle eye-tye
Haul the sails away, O

That night they all decided full-time to take up playing
To go around the folk clubs
No more to go
Surveying
(Oh, that's nice)
They had so much in common
They drank too many beers
And sang in funny voices
With their hands behind their ears

SIng, hi me roo collapsalorum
Hi me roo falay, O
Ringpull, takeaway, aluminium can, O
Heave, heave away, O

The moral of this little song
If moral there be any
Is that folk singers always seem to sing
One verse too many
The reason is that if we stop, somebody may betray us
And make us all go back to being quantity surveyors
Hi me roo collapsalorum
Hi me roo falay, O
Real ale tiddly, piddle iddle sky high
Heave, heave away, O

[Slaps body of guitar]

Hi me roo collapsalorum
Hi me roo falay, O
Real ale tiddly, nine pints nightly
Quantity survey, O!