[Barb]
My name is Barb Holland
And I am the frumpy best friend
Loving, patient, but often ignored
Faithful 'till the end

Well, the end of the diving board

Barb was never noticed
And still Barb was there
Barb should've been easy to find
With her bright red clown hair

Barb was patient, Barb was true
Barb would never hurt you
But Barb was lame and dorky too
So Barb's replaced by some dick you barely know

And funny how I'm the one that got screwed

Remember when you told all our friends
When I got that U.T.I
Which I got becausе I can't pee in school. You know
Because I'm shy

Or that one timе when you said
You'd be my date to the prom
But the night of the dance you went off with some guy
So I went with my mom
You never asked me what I thought
Or listened like a friend should
And now because I knew you
I have been screwed for good

Yes, I get it, Nancy. Huh. I'm a freak
And freaks are such a bore
Us nerdy folk get to sit in the back while you hot ones play the whore

But after years of devoted friendship
And what do I get in the end?

{SPOKEN}
Oh barb, you're such a good friend. Bitch

{SUNG}
Friends for life but what did it get me?
Thrown aside along with your panty's

Yes, you said that you'll always be there
Then I'm sucked away to a nightmare

Come and look for me or just maybe
Barb is dead so let's just forget me

Clearly I'm not central to this plot
Let me disappear because why not
Wow, I'm winded who wrote this music?
These key changes are unrealistic

I didn't warm up and now I can't breathe
Where is my inhaler I need it

Oh well..

Somebody's gonna remember Barb
Yes, someone's gonna bring justice for Barb
Now, I won't be ignored, soon I'll be adored
When the internet comes around

And then you'll see
This is the real me
Singing this eleven o'clock number
In an impossible key

I am the lamest, blandest, dorkiest girl
This town has ever seen
I am the stranger
Thing