[Chorus]
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman

[Verse 1]
Pipe's clogged? call me up
1-800-love-to-fuck
Take cash, take card
Take the fat ass, and take charge
Bee bop a loola, shim shim cheri
She brought the bacon, I brought the beef
Mickey tickey time bomb 1,2,3
Pop off like a molotov in your jeans
She's bursting at the seams
So thick and filled with cream
Some shit you've never seen
She's only seventeen

[Chorus]
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
[Verse 2]
Lights out, I'm your man
Two girls, one hand
No shoes, no pants
Me lose? No chance
Living on the edge of the devils dick
Sucking out milk on Medusa's tits
Call up daddy if you're broken bitch
The handyman's gon' fix that shit
She's bursting at the seams
So thick and filled with cream
Some shit you've never seen
She's only seventeen

[Chorus]
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
Who you gonna call when you need a hand?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman
And who the motherfucker with the tube in his pants?
Mickey Avalon, the handyman

Mickey Avalon, the handyman