Pelle:
I bought no gift this year
And I slept with your sister
I know I should have thought twice
Before I kissed her
But with the year we had last
And the dress that she wore
I just went along for the ride
And I came back for more

And I'm sorry baby...

Cyndi:
That's all ok honey, 'cause see

I bought no tree this year
And I slept with your brother
I wrecked your Daddy's car
And went down on your Mother
I set your record collection on fire
And said I never knew
Felt kind of bad about that
And I know you did too

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree?

Both:
'Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together

Pelle:
I married you last year
Bet you thought I was sober, right? (mm-hmm)
But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake (you didn't)
This could all have been over

Cyndi:
Oh honey please don't
Excuse your behaviour
'Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will

Both:
It's now all in my favour

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree?
'Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together

Pelle:
Holding on without any reason
'Cause something's strong (something's strong) this holiday season (this holiday season)

Both:
So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
And who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree?
'Cause the snow keeps on fallin' even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad

And spend, spend, spend this Christmas together
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together (Merry Christmas!)
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together (Happy Christmas!)
And spend, spend, spend this Chris-Christmas together (who the fuck wants a Christmas tree anyway?)