A little glass of water, please
A fresh-pressed hanky if I sneeze
Some tea with honey from the bees
Whenever you can brew it

(I'll get your tea.)

And while I get a little rest
A teeny tiny small request
Some codfish oil for my chest
Poured from a crystal cruet

(A crystal cruet?)

My goodness, I'm a nincompoop
Because I fear I've got the croup
I need a vat of pumpkin soup
And scarves made out of zinnias

Did I say zinnias I meant silk
Or something shiny of that ilk
And then I'll need some nice warm milk
And pastries from Abyssinia
And since my stomach's feeling crummy
Why not give my aching tummy
Something soothing, something yummy
Piled up with noodles
Add a slice of homemade rye
With stacks of Swiss way up high
Served with sides of sweet mince pie
More basil I need oodles
(Anything else?)

I'll be grateful for your charity
Until the bitter end
Because I've heard that tenderness
Is what you lend an ailing friend
Tenderness isn't that right friend

(Right, but—)

So, who's ready for my big reprise
I'd like that glass of water, please
Some magic spell to cure disease
A firm "gesundhoof" when I sneeze
A fresh bouquet of roses
Some lozenges will soon appease
My wheezing when I start to sneeze
A wig to keep me from the breeze
And blankets for my toes-es
Take tweezers out of my valise
And then massage my knobby knees
A bowl of peas, some extra cheese
A cuddle with a Pekingese
A singing harp who's named Louise
A goat on skis, a new trapeze
And more and more and more and more of these
And just because I oughta...
Make sure I'm drinking in the right
Amount of fluids day and night
I wish I may I wish I might
Have just one little thing
Oh, would you please finally bring
Me that tiny glass
Of water