[Intro: Barnaby]
Ah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Now, where do you think you're going?
The party is this way
And trust me, it's to die for!
Hoo-hoo-hoo, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Verse 1: Barnaby & Ghosts]
I know we'll be the best of friends
So there's no need to run
The sooner you'll get dead, the sooner you can join the fun
No need to fear, for I am here
Your mortal form will disappear
Now, should we use this rusty knife
Or acid water gun?
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Chorus: Barnaby, Ghosts & Both]
There's a million gruesome ways to die
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, why resist when the party's just begun?
(You'll be having so much fun)
There's a million gruesome ways to die
(Why stay alive?)
And I'm sure your death will be second to none
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!
[Verse 2: Barnaby & Ghosts]
Dynamite is quick, but it makes a lot of mess
And flattened by a cow is just embarrassing at best
But baked into a yummy cake
Or dropped into a pit of snakes
Though drowning in a lobster tank might hurt a little less

[Chorus: Barnaby, Ghosts & Both]
There's a million gruesome ways to die
How 'bout impaled upon a spike? (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Oh, why resist when the party's just begun?
Maybe something on a bike
There's a million gruesome ways to die
We could bury you alive
We're sure your death will be second to none

[Bridge: Barnaby, Barnaby & Ghosts]
We could put you in a cage with a hungry alligator
Drop you in a volcano with an active crater
What about ten thousand volts of electricity?
Or try a death by Shakespeare in a tragicomedy

[Verse 3: Barnaby & Ghosts]
Trampled by an elephant or turned to goat meat stew
Or try to fight a dragon armed with nothing but a shoe
We could do a mummy's curse
We'll put you in a fancy hearse
Or turned into a stuffie, now that's something we can do
[Chorus: Barnaby, Ghosts, Solo Ghost]
There's a million gruesome ways to die
I thought I'd try the guillotine
Oh, why resist when the party's just begun?
I danced so hard I broke my spleen
There's a million gruesome ways to die
There must be something we can try
We’re sure your death will be second to none!

[Refrain: Barnaby & Ghosts]
Maybe you can choke upon a grape (To die)
Put you in a blender and frappe! (To die)
Maybe we can find an angry mob (And die)
Tie you on a stake and cook you up like a kabob! (Die, to die)
Smothered by a pillow in your bed (To die)
A gluten overdose from too much bread (To die!)
Then you can join the party 'cause you're dead!

[Outro: Barnaby, Ghosts & Both]
I'm sure your death will be second to
Mr. Reaper's beckoning you
Sure your death will be second to none!
Hoo-hoo-hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!