[Verse 1]
I got a dichotomy inside of me like sodomy
My brain and body fight on the potty part of me wants lobotomy
It's botherin' me you need to bottle me into a pill
Sell me at CVS next to the dill, viagra for the terminally ill
Sick and out of control I tried Chicken Soup for the Soul
A dick in my hole, but that didn't roll like grassy knoll
I shoot my mouth off take my top off on
Get my rocks off on Prada knockoff I'm gone
I cop rock on the dope block I'd rather rot than cop dope
I'd rather snot than snort coke, I cope with Diet Coke
No pope, no beau, elope alone on the low
Yea, no dough but for those in the know, I'm famous you know?
Sick of talk I'd rather cough, sick of rap mixed with rock
Sick of Kid Rock makin off on the chart while I'm caught makin art
I'm a narc smokin' trees in the dark part of the car park
Keep on Moving I stopped
Ache for home but can't go there surrounded and lonely
I don't care but you see, I really do, I do
Don't let the look fool you

[Chorus]
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
(I don't need psychology to see the dichotomy in me)
[Verse 2]
My Lex -no Lex my Tech decks are all wrecked
My ex is on Ex I'm a sex symbol and no sex
I'm shy and kinda awkward when it comes to the men
But I'm Princess Superstar and I got a big mouth like the men-Watch
I'm horny cut like Lizzie Borden fuck this biz I'm bored
And keep a Source award locked in a mental ward with a guard warden
An oxymoron-I'm a moron and I swore on the Qu'ran
I'd never be poor but now I'm tourin' for 1/2 the door
And watch porn at four in the mornin' recordin' the bass player snorin'
At the Red Roof Inn while Korn gets bored at the Four Seasons
Hardcore and don't drink, I'm part Mormon
My Menorah, lord, I got Christmas decorations
Impatient I'm patient paid like Peter Gatien
Erasin' past ace education
My brother was once at Yale now he's on methadone
Nice vacation

[Chorus]
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
(I don't need psychology to see the dichotomy in me)

[Verse 3]
Paradox got a pair of rocks in a jewel box
But the type of rocks you find in ya tool box
Your school socks bust locks in ya mind dine
Like a lion pack I leave the meek behind
Line drive like a lineback I'm weak for weeks at a time
Peep me look like a prep speak like a freak
Lead like a sheep love animals eat lots of meat
White but rhyme on the beat speak at the beep
Are you there? I can't sleep
My new song's amazing but like not good enough to keep
I'm starving I can't eat
I'm hot I got cold feet, hope you sleep better than me
Hope you feel better than me
My life is just a dichotomy
(And I'm smart but did I use that word properly?)
[Chorus]
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm a mess, I'm a stress
This is the first time you heard this song but then you know the rest
(I don't need psychology to see the dichotomy in me)