I take too long to answer telephones

I take too long to type my name and record messages

But my handwriting is excellent

In fact, it's second to none, none

I just got in from somewhere really good

They offered me the part of Bono and a speaking role

With all the merchandise and sunglasses

I could ever need, need

I drive 'round cities in a chariot

I get preferential treatment at the Marriott

But if the truth be told

I'm naked under all these clothes

I tell you what it is on my mind
I only want to be in your record collection, whoa

I only want to be in your record collection, whoa

And I'll do anything it takes just to get there

My brain is buzzing and the room is strange

Like the scene in Trading Places at the stock exchange

I made a million overnight in '87

Now I'm living in my parking space, parking space

My teeth are bright and my hair is clean

I wear Paco Rabanne like I was Charlie Sheen

But in the rain we all look wet

And in the snow we all look cold

I tell you what it is on my mind

I only want to be in your record collection, whoa
I only want to be in your record collection, whoa

And I'll do anything it takes just to get there

Disgusted by all the flashness

I think I'm a don, they think I'm an actor, but I catch this

My two needs are pillow and a mattress

Once I can fill up the space with a famous actress

Give me a mil, I'll do a DJ set

I pull spikey with the greet like a cactus

Show off, ego's high

You can't match this chauvinistic pig, money man tactics

I'm not as clever as I thought I was

It got pointed out to me as I was tying the knot

And all I want to know is
How I got so far down, down

I'm not as lucky as I thought I was

My luck ran out the other day as I was crossing the road

Who would have thought a truck like that

Could have caused so much?

I tell you what it is on my mind

I only want to be in your record collection, whoa

I only want to be in your record collection, whoa

And I'll do anything it takes just to get there