[NATHAN]
What's playin' at the Roxy?
I'll tell you what's playin' at the Roxy
It's a picture about a Minnesota man
So in love with a Mississippi girl
That he sacrifices everything
And moves all the way to Biloxi
That's what's playin' at the Roxy

[BENNY]
What's in the Daily News?
I'll tell you what's in the Daily News
Story about a guy who bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise would have been his union dues
That's what's in the Daily News

[NICELY]
What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell you what's happenin' all over
Guy's sitting home by a television set
Who once used to be something of a rover
That's what's happening all over

[NATHAN, BENNY & NICELY]
Love is the thing that has licked them
[NATHAN]
And it looks like I'm just another victim

[NATHAN, spoken]
Yes, sir

[NATHAN]
When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll

[NICELY]
When you spot a John waitin' out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane

[BENNY]
When you meet a gent payin' all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal

[NATHAN]
Call it sad, call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll

[BENNY]
When you see a Joe savin' half of his dough
You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll
[NICELY]
When a bum buys wine like a bum can't afford

[NATHAN, BENNY & NICELY]
It's a cinch that the bum is under the thumb
Of some little broad

[NATHAN]
When you meet a mug lately out of the jug
And he's still liftin' platinum folderol

[NATHAN, BENNY & NICELY]
Call it hell, call it heaven
It's a probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll

[BENNY]
When you see a sport and his cash has run short
You can bet he's been blowin' it on some doll

[NICELY]
When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white
Who the heck do you think he's ticklin' pink on Saturday night?

[NATHAN]
When some lazy slob gets a good steady job
And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol
[NATHAN, BENNY & NICELY]
Call it dumb, call it clever
Ah, but you can give odds forever
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
Some doll, some doll
The guy's only doin' it for some doll!