[Verse 1: Frank Sinatra, Jr. & Brian Griffin]
On the western side of Quahog, if you’d care to come along
There’s a club that’s so exclusive that the line is ten miles long
Where the douchebags come to party and to spend their father’s cash
Just to take home slutty women and then wake up with a rash
Yeah, they wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up with a rash

[Chorus: Both & Frank Sinatra, Jr.]
Take me out to pLace tonight, where the wool knit caps are tight
And the guys in hooded swеatshirts have forgotten that they’rе white
Take me out to pLace tonight, where a dude can pick a fight
Over who takes home that smoking Chinese bar skank on the right

[Verse 2: Frank Sinatra, Jr. & Brian Griffin]
There’s a throng of trendy people and they’re stretched around the block
And there’s one unpleasant deaf guy who just really shouldn’t talk (Vodka tonic, please)
There’s a chick who’s kinda Persian and a broad with zero fat
And a giant human monkey, oh no, wait, that’s Spencer Pratt
Yeah, you’re right, that’s Spencer Pratt

[Chorus: Both]
Take me out to pLace tonight, to a bathroom stall delight
Where a girl will help you empty every las electrolyte
Take me out to pLace tonight, where there ain’t no cellulite
And we’ll drink ourselves insane until we’re feeling dynamite
[Performed by Frank Sinatra, Jr. as himself and Seth MacFarlane as Brian Griffin]