[Intro: Fat Joe]
These guys can't be serious right here
Stan and Mini-Me
A.K.A. I hope he ain't
The one you fight with

[Verse 1: Fat Joe]
Ayo, this n***a's mad corny and ain't got no skills
'Cause he's alright, but he's not real
Don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you'll never get a deal
'Cause he's alright, but he's not real
You're a needle in a haystack, I'm the don, the city slicker
Forget cows, we'll milk your moms lil' titties, n***a
Porn elixir, thought he wasn't?
Bet this n***a end up havin' kids wit' his cousin
Half-retarded my number-one fan be like
"Duh-duh-duh-duh—!" That means Fat Joe's the man
And you're a liar in denial
Kill yo' ass quicker than I died in "Empire"
How dare you want to joust with me?
Lookin' like you dyin' of SARS or mad cow disease
You fake B-Rabbit, out to battle me
8 Mile's down the road, the farm's that away
*drops the mic*

[Intro: Simon Rex (as George Logan)]
(*Plays harmonica note*)
Bitch (*Plays lower harmonica note*)
Ho (*plays harmonica notes*)
Now everybody in the 202
Throw your hands in the air cause Fat Joe is screwed
Now everybody in the 202
Throw 'em up- check it out
[Verse 2: Simon Rex (as George Logan)]
I'm a white boy, but my neck is red
I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread
My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail
Me and Buffy spend every winter in Vail
How many bitches have I slapped? Zero
Uh, and Martha Stewart happens to be my hero
I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm
Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him
I can't dance, I wear khaki pants
My middle name's Lance, my grandma's from France
So maybe I'm wack 'cause my skin ain't black
But you can't talk smack 'cause whitey just struck back
*drops the mic*