[COMPANY]
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert

[EVELYN]
I want a party to remember
The Festivus New York December
Fabulous and perfect fact
A party no one will forget

[COURTNEY]
The catering will be sublime

[LUIS]
One of those waiters is more than fine

[EVELYN]
I hope the guests will be impressed
At least I won't be underdressed

[COMPANY]
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert

[PATRICK, spoken]
The holidays are a difficult time for me
So I prepare for the coming onslaught of eggnog
And office parties
Of shopping and ice skating
With copious amount of drugs and alcohol
To dull the screaming
[COURTNEY]
And if the party starts to waiver
I hope somebody brings party favors
Or at least something risqué
A little naughty

[LUIS]
Or a little gay

[EVELYN, spoken]
You look like shit
Are you okay?

[PARTICK, spoken]
I think it's too much red
It's making me anxious

[EVELYN, spoken]
Are you on something?

[PATRICK, spoken]
I think I may be hallucinating

[EVELYN, spoken]
Well, then find a bathroom, Bateman
Splash some water on your face
Throw up, do something
[PATRICK, spoken]
Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in Hell motherfucker!

[PATRICK]
I'll put some X in the eggnog
Wait for a while
The girls relax
All the girls start to smile

I'll open a gram
Watch them go
Now you see why Santa
Loves the snow

Some fucking leaves
At the door
Can't wait till the girls
Are nailed to the floor