Wakko:
She's the woman of the year
Independent, a career
There's not a thing that she couldn't do

Oh, she's alert, she's aware
She's got legs like Astaire
And a hundred-fifty-seven IQ

She has several Ph.D.s
Speaks fluent Japanese
And her shoes will always match with her purse

Whatever street she's walkin' down
Everybody turns around
And says...

Yakko and Wakko:
HellOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!

Wakko:
She likes cheese and pepperoni
Won a Pulitzer and a Tony
She played the leading role in King Lear

She never drinks, she never smokes
She never laughs at dirty jokes
She was ambassador to China last year
Oh, she's politically correct
She'd never collect
She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse

And when she's walkin' by
I give a little sigh
And say...

Yakko and Wakko:
HellOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!

Wakko:
She gets her math equations right
She reads Tolstoy every night
She won the Nobel Prize in physics. It's true

She drives a shiny new Corvette
Sings opera at the Met
And volunteers her time at the zoo

She won a scholarship to Yale
Got her Fulbright in the mail
And took a two-year junior college degree

She's manna sent from heaven!
Too bad I'm only seven
'Cause, Hello Nurse
I wish you'd take care of me!
Yakko and Wakko:
If she's not everything that we've said
Then may lightning strike us dead!

(A flash of lightning singes them)

HellOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!!!