[Intro]
This is HDFW base to Chocolate Starfish, reading, over
Chocolate Starfish, reading, over
Your mission, Universal Communication
Was your mission completed?
Affirmative, permission to terminate
Permission granted
Bring it on!

[Instrumental]

[Skit: Ben Stiller & Fred Durst]
Fuck Limp Bizkit, man! Jesus...
"Ooh, I can put a Z in my name, I'm bad!
I'm never gonna move out of Jacksonville
I'm livin' in fuckin' Hollywood"
Hmm, you know this is my first, uh, rock slash rap album
So, it's kind of new for me, the whole pop world, you know
This is a phat beat, by the way
And I'm talkin' P.H. phat
Thank you to, uh, DJ Lethal for this phat beat
Did you grow up with DJ Lethal, Fred? Y'know?
*laughing* And did you call him DJ Lethal when you were kids?
That's what his momma named him, huh?
Ooh, little DJ Lethal
Can't mess with Limp Bizkit
'Cause we get it on every day and every night
So, back it up, you know what I'm saying?
What, you don't like Limp Bizkit?
What? No no no, I think Limp Bizkit is great, man!
What do you like about us?
Um, I like that you're so fuckin' out there with your message
You know, "Shut the fuck up, man!"
Watch out, mom! Big bad rock star
Are you serious?
"Ooh, I can slash your ass with a chainsaw!"
No, I'm just saying the message of being able to slash someone's ass
That's a good message to put out there
And with a chainsaw, we're gonna get it down raw or whatever
You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about, right?
*laughing*
So obviously, you really don't— you're not down with the Bizkit
No, no, I'm limpin' with the Bizkit!
I'm totally Limpin' with the Bizkit, man
I am limpin' with the Bizkit!
*laughing* Totally
And would you pay?
Are you gonna pay money to listen to this record?
This record? Which one, this one?
You mean Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water? Haha!
So yeah, cut the beat and let's start this shit up, ok?
Come on, shut the fuck up, and start this shit up
It's all crazy thrash, punk, pop, metal to you
But it's somewhere out there in the...
You know, up there with Rod Stewart and, uh, uh...
Uh, Rod Stewart is the Bizkit, man
I mean I'm talkin', when you're limpin' with the Bizkit
You're talkin' about the major groups in rock 'n' roll
Who else could take rap, hip-hop, thrash, punk metal
Take it, throw it in the can, spin it around
And come out with something that wasn't fertilizer?
And it was the Bizkit, the Limp Bizkit, man
And when they came on the scene, I don't care what you say
"Counterfeit" blew the fuckin' people downtown!
*continuous laughter*
[Hidden Track]

[Phone Call: Fred Durst and Stephen Jenkins]
*phone ringing*
Hello?
Yo
Hello?
Wassup bro?
Stephen
Where you at?
Guess
Where you at?
*sings* "I don't wanna go to London"
You're in London?
Yeah
What are you doin'?
Eating some food
Fish 'n chips?
(both laugh)
I wish I was eating fish 'n chips, I dunno what I'm eating
It's late at night
What time is it where you are?
Um, I'm trying to get ready to do another show, woah!
Dude, everytime I talk to you, you're getting ready to do another show
When are ya comin' back to Cali?
I dunno, I think I got another week left here
I wish you'd meet me in New York, we could kick it
Alright, well, rock on bro
Right on, man
Right on
[Answering Machine: Rob Dyrdek]
Sup, Fred? It's Rob
I'm just trying to catch up with you
I be doing the X Games and shit
I'm just lettin' you, I mean, ultimately, it's-
I'm trying this skate park down here, it's sick as fuck man
It's probably like Big League, man
All grey ramps, studio walls with giant DC logos and shit!
*beep*

[Answering Machine: Mark Wahlberg]
Yo, what's up, man? It's Mark
I didn't reach you last night, so I don't know if you're still in New York
It's uh, Friday, about 1:50
Uh, give me a call back-
What kind of bullshit is this, man? This shit is good
What you got here, you just check motherfuckers before they call? Lemme know what that shit is, man
Lemme get some of that
Alright, peace
*hangs up*