INTRO. Excerpt from "Cry Cry Cry" plays over a black screen with text that reads "COLDPLAY — PRESS CONFERENCE".

JACOB COLLIER, sung: Cry, cry, cry, baby, cry, cry, cry.

The video starts with Jonny Buckland, Chris Martin, Guy Berryman and Will Champion walking in the room and sitting down. At the bottom of the screen, there is text that says "LIVE STREAM" with an eye symbol and a zero next to it (indicating that they have zero viewers). A news ticker at the bottom reads "COLDPLAY ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM "EVERYDAY LIFE"", with some text above that says "COLDPLAY PRESS CONFERENCE". The time is shown in the corner of the screen as well.

CHRIS MARTIN: Hi, hello.

Chattering and camera clicks.

CHRIS MARTIN: Thank you, thank you everybody. Thank you for being here so early in the morning. We are called Coldplay, this is Jonny…

JONNY BUCKLAND: Hi.

CHRIS MARTIN: …Chris, Guy and Will. And we, as some of you may know, have announced that we are releasing a new album on November 22nd called "Everyday Life".

Camera moves to show the album. People take pictures.

CHRIS MARTIN: It's a very short double album.

The news ticker at the bottom changes to read "DOUBLE ALBUM "EVERYDAY LIFE" OUT NOVEMBER 22".

CHRIS MARTIN: And on that day, November 22nd, we are going to be doing two live broadcasts on YouTube from Jordan playing both halves of the album.

Camera shows an upside-down map of the world with an arrow point to a ring around Jordan.
CHRIS MARTIN: If there's any questions, please fire away

Crowd start chattering. Camera reveals the crowd is mainly full of toys and cardboard cut-outs. News ticker text changes o "COLDPLAY TO STREAM LIVE PERFORMANCE ON NOVEMBER 22".

CHRIS MARTIN: Yes. You. Gentleman there.

REPORTER #1: Why the title "Everyday Life"?

WILL CHAMPION: Our album "Everyday Life" is an attempt to convey the fact that there's a lot of shared experience, you know, things that are, things that affect us all, and…

REPORTER #2: Can you please explain who the other people in the photo on the album cover are?

JONNY BUCKLAND: They, they're actually my great-grandfather's band. They were called Big Buckland's Dance Orchestra.

Camera zooms on the album cover.

JONNY BUCKLAND: Obviously, a few of the other guys are us.

Jonny Buckland, Chris Martin, Guy Berryman and Will Champion all laugh. The reporters don't find it funny.

REPORTER #1: Why not Toronto?

CHRIS MARTIN: For what?

REPORTER #1: For the show on November 22nd, right, because they have arenas, they have [?] systems.
REPORTER #2: And a good airport.

REPORTER #1: So why not?

CHRIS MARTIN: That's a tough one. Um, Guy, you wanna take this one?

Camera zooms on Guy Berryman. No answer. News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY TURNS A COLD SHOULDER TO CANADA" briefly before changing to "COLDPLAY ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM "EVERYDAY LIFE"".

CHRIS MARTIN: Yes.

REPORTER #1: Why still continue with Coldplay? Why do it?

CHRIS MARTIN: We're just tryna provide a service to the people that like our kind of music.

News ticker text changes to "CHRIS MARTIN SAYS "BLAH BLAH BLAH"".

CHRIS MARTIN: We really love making music together and this is how we feel about things right now.

REPORTER #1: But like what would you say to naysayers? So like, say I came up to you and I was like "Hey, nay, nay, nay".

CHRIS MARTIN: That's a great question. I think it's what we're… I don't know how to answer that.

News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY "DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER [QUESTIONS]"".

REPORTER #2: If we quote you on that, we need a full quote.
Chris doesn't answer.

CHRIS MARTIN: Yes, sir.

REPORTER #3: Hello, I'm from Germany, and before U2 had played there and, they had a huge arena, the venue you're playing is smaller.

CHRIS MARTIN: Yep. We don't really feel competitive with any other artists.

News ticker text changes to "CHRIS MARTIN SAYS "COLDPLAY HAS NO COMPETITION"".

REPORTER #3: No, no, I'm saying, I like Coldplay, but some people might find that pop music now has died. It's dead.

CHRIS MARTIN: These are all amazing observations.

REPORTER #3: Yes, because I had said…

CHRIS MARTIN: Do you have a question?

News ticker text changes to "CHRIS MARTIN BECOMES AGGRESSIVE WITH REPORTER".

REPORTER #3: No.

CHRIS MARTIN: Oh.

Reporter #2 raises her hand.

WILL CHAMPION: Please.

REPORTER #2: I would love if everyone in the band could answer this question.

News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY TO STREAM LIVE PERFORMANCE ON NOVEMBER 22".

REPORTER #2: When was the first moment in your life that you realised, "I wanna play music".

The band all talk over each other. The news ticker text changes to "[INCOMPREHENSIBLE]". Reporter #2 is confused. The news ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM "EVERYDAY LIFE"".

WILL CHAMPION: Yes please.

REPORTER #4: I was wondering if you were familiar with the old quote, "When the songs are dire, call the gospel choir".

CHRIS MARTIN: Well, when I'm broken and I'm in need…

The band disappear, except for Chris Martin, and are replaced by a gospel choir. They start singing "BrokEn"

CHRIS MARTIN, sung: Feel that ocean.

CHOIR: Feel that ocean.

CHRIS MARTIN, sung: Swallowing me.

CHOIR: Swallowing me.

CHRIS MARTIN, spoken: Does that answer your question?

REPORTER #4: Not really.

The rest of the band re-appear sitting alongside Chris Martin.

REPORTER #2: I just have a follow-up question. Guy?

GUY BERRYMAN: Yes.

REPORTER #2: What's your skin care routine?

GUY BERRYMAN: It's kind of a secret. I make my own stuff, basically.

Crowd laugh. Chris Martin looks at Guy Berryman in a weird way. News ticker text changes to "GUY TO LAUNCH "SECRET" SKIN CARE SIDE PROJECT"

REPORTER #1: Why not Baltimore?

Reporter #4 raises her hand.

CHRIS MARTIN: Yes. Please.

REPORTER #4: **** you.

News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY TO STREAM LIVE PERFORMANCE ON NOVEMBER 22".

REPORTER #1: Quickly, why not Tampa?

REPORTER #4: Chris, I just, I hate to say it, but people find you obnoxious, you know, it's like, "Oh, I'm such a do-gooder, I'm such a nice guy, like I'm so zen".

CHRIS MARTIN: Thanks.

REPORTER #4: How is such an annoying person like you the lead singer of this band.

The crowd get louder until it is revealed that Chris Martin has been replaced by an angrier version of himself.

ANGRY CHRIS: I don't care what you think. Right?

News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY PRESS CONFERENCE TAKES HOSTILE TURN".

ANGRY CHRIS: You think I care that people attack me? I love it. But we don't give a toss about no-one, 'cause we're fucking Coldplay. If we see a chair, right, we kick it down. We see glass, we smash it. There's not one piece of glass we haven't smashed, I don't think, right, we kick it down with our boots, right, 'cause we got big stupid boots. You got boots? Y'know what we got? We got Coldplay boots.

Angry Chris slightly chuckles.

ANGRY CHRIS: You lot, you lot come about, you think you can bring down Coldplay. We don't care, we walk out of a show. Take, here's ya Coldplay. I'm Chris Fuckin' Martin. Take it.

Angry Chris gives the two fingers to the crowd.

ANGRY CHRIS: We don't care.

The video freezes on Angry Chris' face. News ticker text changes to "COLDPLAY TO STREAM LIVE PERFORMANCE ON NOVEMBER 22".

REPORTER #1: I like you.

Chris Martin turns back to his normal self.

OUTRO. "Orphans" plays over text that says "EVERYDAY LIFE / LIVE IN JORDAN / NOV 22, 2019 / TWO PERFORMANCES. / LIVE ON YOUTUBE. / SUNRISE / 4AM GMT / SUNSET / 2PM GMT.